A patron is an influential supporter of the arts or a financial sponsor of social occasions, a person that uses their wealth and influence for the good of others. A saint is recognized for piety, service, or virtue. In the Catholic tradition it is an official title given posthumously through a canonization process to determine holiness. Put together, “patron saint” refers to someone representing the prime exemplar of a trait or the stalwart defender of/provider to a specific population. The remembrance and, in some faiths – the intercession and protection of that departed spirit, is a comfort and help.

Today at the Massachusetts State house in Boston, International Bereaved Mother’s Day was recognized. Agencies, programs, legislators, professional and lay communities leaders, and individuals who have experienced child loss, gathered to share stories and promote best practices. I took Isabella Stewart Gardner – the standee. She belongs there, among the survivors. I believe she can hold space, in that Great Hall, as our own Massachusetts’ Patron Saint of Bereavement.

You might know Isabella Stewart Gardner as the outsider from New York, shunned from Boston society for marrying the eligible Boston brahmin, Jack Gardner, in 1860. Or from the outrageous stories of her nonconforming behavior – walking a borrowed lion, cheering on the Red Sox at the Symphony, socializing with artists (oh my!)… Or as the founder, brilliant art collector, meticulous designer, and singular curator of a world class museum the turn of the twentieth century. All of this is true and worth noting.

However, great grief and complex maternity altered and defined her life and certainly impacted what came to be her life’s work in the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. The losses of a still born baby and miscarriage; her only son, Jack Junior, dying as a toddler; and eventual infertility were each individually devastating and ultimately transformational. Isabella knew loss.

As a doctor’s proposed remedy to her year long depression (she “took to her bed”) after Jackie’s death, Isabella was carried aboard a ship for an extended season of travel. It is in this time period that Isabella Stewart Gardner began to purchase, collect, and eventually arrange and display objects of beauty – culminating in her museum. Without her bereavement, were she a mother who had not experienced great loss, how different would have been Isabella Stewart Gardner’s life and legacy?

The mothers and father who spoke today told the hard and tender stories of their child loss. They spoke of the short lives of those children as motivation to reach out, build community, take time, and find joy. I believe, that as her whole story is told, Isabella Stewart Gardner will emerge as the Massachusetts’ de facto Patron Saint of Bereavement. A century and a half later, Jackie Gardner’s life matters because of the strength and work and gifts of his mother.